FUgly the KlowN

FUgly visits are $100/half-hour or $150/hour (multi-hour discounts available) Monday-Friday, and generally work best as SURPRISE greetings on studio lots, in office environments, or restaurant settings, during standard business hours. (Weekend rates: $125/half-hour. $175/hour.) Complete the form below for the damn date(s) you would like to book, genius.

NOTE: Payment methods include cold hard cash (paid within 24 hours of visit) or lukewarm credit/debit cards through PayPal, payable to: booking@fuglytheklown.com

If you do not have a PayPal account, PayPal also accepts Visa, Mastercard, Discover, AmEx, and eCheck online. No Monopoly money, chocolate coins, or wooden nickels.

YOUR CONTACT INFO (all fields marked with an ^* are required)
Name
^* Phone
^* E-Mail
THE GORY DETAILS Personalize the FUgly the KlowN experience by specifying the WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, and WHY of the knob(s) you're hiring FUgly to surprise...
WHO?
Name/Nickname
WHAT?
Glorious Occasion
WHERE?
Company/Restaurant/Other
Address1
Address2
Fabulous City
WHEN?
Damn Month Damn Day Damn Time am pm
Side-Splitting Duration	1/2 Hour 1 Hour Other (explain)
WHY?
Fancy Job Title
Pathetic Job Duties
Unending Job Length
Dreadful Work Environment
Bossy Boss's Name(s)
Annoying Co-Workers' Names
Depressing Birthday
Horrible Hometown
Doomed Relationship Status
Lame Method of Transportation
Boring Hobbies
Most Embarrassing Moment
Oh-So-Special Message	This should be something short and sweet that you'd like FUgly to share at the end of his visit, such as: "Happy Goddamn Birthday, ya knob, from John Doe!" or "Congratulations, old timer. You're ANOTHER year older, and Jane Doe never wants you to forget it!"
Tedious Notes	Add any additional "inside information" that you feel will help customize and heighten the hiliarity of FUgly's surprise visit to the person in question. Are they ultra-political? Any strange allergies? Do they hate clowns? (Hey, who doesn't?) Do they still hold a grudge against that brat in third grade who spit on them and called them "Bozo"? You get the idea. Be creative, genius.

FUGLY FACTOIDS: FUgly once was hired to entertain at a marathon Hollyw%d office party. When FUg's manager, Bob Gnoblik, enquired as to what the stoned company event coordinator wanted FUgly to do for six hours, exactly, the reply was, "F*ck with people's heads!" And so that, as per usual, is what FUgly did.

* denotes "licentious" vowel as per the F.u.C.k.C.